But What Of The Loss
Those of you who have never had
A parent die, or a child die,
A cousin or lover
Or even a pet goldfish parish
Know not what it means to
Savor the days beyond them;
To feel the surplus pool up
In your heart – the true overflow
Sometimes, I imagine that I’m gone
And God or whatever says,
“You’ve been given one more day
on earth, but
It will just be a random day in
The middle of
Your life.”
And without a second to
Anticipate or appreciate, I am
Back in this moment – this one –
Sitting on the subway at night or
Flossing my teeth with mint dental floss or
Running my fingers through my
Daughter’s hair, even watching
Baseball highlights on my phone
Held in a cheap stand
Next to the warm, soapy dishwater
As I try to get the soaked muffin
Crumbs from under the edge of the
Muffin pan, and then, right then
I cry and cry and dance and scream
my hand again in the glove of life;
I plunge my face into the dishwater,
I push my nose into my daughter’s hair
I kiss the man on the subway on the mouth -
I swallow the dental floss. I bite into my own
Flesh to feel the pain,
to taste the blood,
To feel and to taste and to remember what it
Means to feel and to taste once again!
Even the old ship with barnacles
And a splintered deck is still at sea;
Alive again, alive again,
That’s what the goldfish wants
That’s all my grandma wants
And we have it. We still have it all.
