In anticipation of reading poetry infront of class

Yes. I know. This is this first time you read a poem in front of a group of people
Well it's mine too.
I know what you're thinking. I know this poem by heart, why am I reading from the page.
Can't I just drop the page like Williams and show that I am a great reader. and poet.
What does he have that I don't? Don't worry about that now, just keep reading the words. You like half-way done. just keep sounding confident and you'll get there. Where was I again? Oh yeah "I'm at "Petals. . ." All I got left is "A wet black bough"

Why did I sign up for this anyway? It's not like it's directly affecting my grade. I mean is prof. Jenkins really listening? Or is he just nodding and saying "fantastic" or "good" exclamation point! Will he even remember that I read? Wait the poem is over. and I'm just standing up here. What do I do? Just look down and done. and let the poem sit for a second. like he does in class.

Man those chairs look like captains chairs from Star Trek. Will Shatner pry didn't even have it that good. Patrick Stewart totally did. OK, stop shaking your sitting down and its over. Wow, I'm really sweating. I hope I don't have to hug anyone. ok ok.

Preface

Hey. so I was just thinking about it. There a chance that you will read this, all of this and want to know something else about me.
Well i'm 23. Most of the poetry that is included here was written while in my academic pursuit of English. very little of it was constructed while I taught poetry. I am teaching poetry now. I have three real days of class left. We have a poetry reading next week that I am hosting with all of my class in attendance. It's going to be fun. I hope. I'm not really geared up for it yet. I can see you eyes wandering off the page scream "I don't give a fuck about what this kid has to say, I am so much (insert difference) than him. What a snot-nosed little punk who thinks someone other than himself will read this." Well here's a newsflash gramps, your not me any more than I'm you. You used to be me and I will soon be you, but we are not the same person. Your back hurts and your overwieght with heart problem. My heart hurts a little, but I'm fine. I make mistakes. I'm tearing you a new one right now. Is that a mistake? Maybe. I bet I'm pissing you off though. and that's exactly what I want. get mad. get real mad. oh and tell lindsey hi and that I love her. (if she's dead or you guys got divorced, I'm sorry. That's a cheapshot.)

yeah. get mad motherfucker!

Pain

Oh my lord. This agony can't compare
to the cross that you have to wear
I swear I don't know what is in or out
I hate the feeling that is all about
my body and my brain, my mind and soul
oh god I'm hurt and I'm old

goodness has left like a guilded toilet bowl
I can't cry.

Why Remember Me?

Why Remember me?
I am not profain.
Heck I can't even spell my name.
Why remember these words
they aren't Keats or Yeats
or the Flea
no mixing blood's in this
textual body's sea

I have nothing to say that will get you
to the moon
I am no sputnik
or a whaling baboon.
I have no white whale
no dream to be freed
Jesus been dead
no sweat had been bead.

Now I'll tell you a story
of the life you done see'd
I'm a man from a farm
I'm the wheat from a seed

God, shine down with your glorious rays
you got nothing to show in the end of days
not your smile not your frown not your life-giving greed
not the world's spinning grace will stop what we need

we need money and power and some sex on the side
With a troubling glance you wink with one eye
and the world stops spinning it's parolees race
we each die with an ounce of shit on our face

our fingers are pointing, are teeth will nash deep
for our pocket of cash are just out of reach
they are the cars that we want and the house that we dream
a generation lost on a tangible scheme

out speak-easy's closed
next to the internet cafe
the electric light stops
the romp in the hay

those force-feed dreams have the sun's light on them see
and God choirs down "You know I remember thee!"

So as our story closes and the light becomes dark
could you see I still need to work on the arc
cuz the ending is good and the middle is too
but the animals don't want to pair off in twos

they love there brothers and sisters you see
and they scribe down there notes and they sing this in key
they say "Sister don't forget what your brother could be
a sinner, that's fine, but a good man you'd see"

"Now that God has told us to drown away our fears
don't sit on the edge, don't cry out your tears
cuz I'll be alright, my soul is now free
that's how I want you to remember me"